Falling on His Grace

My husband told me the song "It's the End of the World as We Know It" is back on the charts. It seems appropriate as the world is changing, and there could be more changes ahead of us. At this time, there are both the familiar - in the seasons and outdoors, in the family we have gathered around us, and in the conveniences we have in our home - and the unfamiliar - restaurants, theaters, and some stores being closed, children home from school, keeping our distance from friends. And there's the unknown; there's navigating the unknown waters and new ill-understood and ill-defined social norms. Do I let my kids play with friends, limiting it to two or three total? Do we go to stores to buy essentials? Am I putting my family's and my life in danger by doing seemingly innocuous, everyday things? A friend made the comment that she feels as if the world is hanging on by a thread. This time we are in can certainly give that impression. For some, including her, this q...

The fall and early winter were difficult for me. I felt like I was losing my mind - quite literally. At 39 years old, I should not be feeling like I am developing dementia. A heaviness was constantly sitting on my brain that felt as if it was compressing it or pulling it down somehow, accompanied by brain fog that made it difficult to find or sort through anything up there. A combination of emptiness and confusion predominated any thoughts I tried to assemble, and my memory was sporadic at best. I found it easier to simply not think. It is frustrating to not have control over your own mind, to know there is something up there but to not be able to access it. And it is difficult to function - to be a wife, to parent children, and to run a house in my case - without use of your mental facilities. Not to mention feeling trapped in your own body and feeling as if you have lost a part of who you are. Yet, my prayer was, "Lord, take this from me. Help me to feel better and think m...