You Make up for Where I Lack, My God

“Oh, Lord, please make up for where I lack.” 

How that prayer feels like a constant companion of mine through my days raising my five, children. It is a constant companion, especially, on those days when I struggle the most, whether with impatience, fatigue, or general irritability. It is a constant companion when I see how much I have to accomplish and how little of me there is to go around, when I feel as if I have bitten off more than I can chew.

Motherhood has a way of bringing out our insufficiencies and making them known. We are imperfect human beings, in charge of raising children into competent and loving adults. 

Yet, how can I teach them to be competent when I myself am not always so competent? How can I teach them to be loving when I act impatient and frustrated? Our faults surface too easily on some days and threaten to unravel all the good we have done and the patience we have shown with such painstaking effort.

There are days when I am absolutely convinced that, if the raising of my children was left up to me alone, I would surely fail at this task. Luckily, it is not all up to me. I must play a part. But these children of mine are ultimately not mine at all. And those things that I have been commissioned to do as they grow are not for me to do alone. Of course, my husband shares the responsibility and the raising of these children. But, ultimately, these children are God’s children, and they are in His capable hands.

He knows I am insufficient and chose to put these very children in my hands anyway. Why? Because He is also here and is also raising these children that He shares with me. Because He knows that He can make up for my insufficiencies. And how I need Him to do that! And how He does do that!

I look at my children. Oh, they are not perfect. They do their share of bickering and even fighting with each other. They don’t always listen to or obey their dad or I as they should. But I also see great love in them and great generosity with each other. As the older kids serve the younger ones breakfast or the younger ones pick up something the older ones had dropped, as they sit on the couch or floor together listening to a story or watching a movie, I know God’s hand has touched them and is guiding them. I know my husband and I are not alone in the raising of these little ones. 

And sometimes I notice how, not only am I raising them and looking to God to help me shape them into competent and loving people, but also how God is using them to also shape me into a more competent and loving person. God’s plan for putting these children in my life is not only for their sake but for mine as well. 

Parenting not only brings out my faults and insufficiencies but also provides a crucible and a refining fire to purify me from those very faults and insufficiencies. It can hurt, severely even, and be quite trying, but God is using those trying moments to shape me into someone who is better than I otherwise would be. He uses those very moments that threaten to unravel me to instead build me up and create a heart that is beautifully dependent on Him. He uses those circumstances to create greater patience and deeper love. Like my own children, I am also God’s child and am in His loving and capable hands. I am also being led and shaped by Him.

“Lord, thank You. Please continue to make up for where I lack.”