Why I'm Grateful to Be Working as a Physical Therapist
I mention quite often how anxious I am to stay home and how much I dislike working. I've been trying to find reasons God may be wanting me to work despite it being on my heart to be home with the boys - and to hopefully have more children. And so I would like to share my new appreciation for my working with you, in the form of a list.
1. My working right now, even part time, is preparing my heart to truly appreciate being home. My desire to be home grows stronger as time continues to march on, and as I continue to work outside the home. I do realize being home with children is not easy, and when I am home full time, I know I will realize more fully just how difficult it can be. Yet, looking back at my working days, remembering just how I longed to be home and to give myself to my children, I will be more grateful and appreciative of the gift of being home - hopefully even on the difficult days.
A wonderful priest I recently talked with told me it's like a high school or college-aged person working in a factory; it's good for everyone to have a job like that, or a job that they dislike or that does not fulfill them, so that they better appreciate future work. I remember a friend of mine from high school worked nights in a paper mill her freshman year of college. While she enjoyed the job to some extent, she did not want to work there the rest of her life. At some point, she took a single napkin from the machine she had worked at constantly and tacked it to the board above her desk where she would study to keep her motivated to study and to remind herself of the mundane and tiring yet physically demanding job she had held, so that she would better appreciate the next steps in her life.
Maybe seven months from now I'll have to keep a goniometer (a took for measuring joint angles) above my mirror so that I can look at it each morning and remember what a blessing it is I get to stay home.
2. I have had the opportunity to meet so many beautiful people that I would not have otherwise met. My life has touched their lives, and their lives have touched mine. There are some patients I truly look forward to seeing, and I am sad when they "graduate" from physical therapy. And the feeling often seems to be mutual. Many of those patients (at least the female ones) will say they hope to see me again (in the grocery store, not PT, of course) and give me a big hug when they leave for the last time. These are people I feel truly blessed to have known.
3. For the reason above, I have also been able to be a witness for God to some people. My life touches others' lives. I wear a 5-way cross and a scapular everyday (and I know the straps are somewhat visible often), as well as a simple ring with a cross on it. It is surprising how often people comment on either my necklace or ring. Sometimes it's the start of some pretty cool conversations; other times, I am simply being a witness to God by being kind and caring while wearing His sign around my neck. Either way, I hope I am bringing people closer to Him, even as I am struggling to grow closer to Him myself.
4. I am also very blessed that I can support my family while Andy is in school, working only 20 hours a week. If it wasn't for being able to do that, Andy would likely not have been able to go back to school, and my staying home would be less likely (or I'd have to work 40 hours a week while Andy's in school, which would be even more difficult for me with my being so involved with raising a family and with my thyroid and adrenal issues and my depression and anxiety). We do have help from my parents with Andy's school, and Andy's school loans, work study (tutoring now 2 hours per week), scholarships, and grants, and his income from reffing hockey games - but by far our family is primarily supported by my income and would be lost without it.
5. The fifth reason I am grateful for being a physical therapist is one of the very reasons I so very much dislike it (go figure). I am such an introvert and so very much need time for myself, and am challenged by relationships with others; constant discussions with people and needing to answer one question after another, or carry on conversations, wears me out. I cannot constantly be on my toes, so to speak, without getting worn down. Yet, being a physical therapist has improved my ability to do just that (which I know will be a blessing when I am at home), and has greatly improved my social skills and my confidence in myself. I was such a shy girl in grade school and high school, and - though less so - in college. As a PT, I have had to initiate conversations, be the expert and demonstrate confidence (as my supervisor constantly told me on my first PT job, "When you don't have confidence, you need to fake it - the patients need to see that confidence from you; soon, you'll develop more confidence and won't need to fake it so much"), and learn how to relate to others. I truly have grown greatly in this aspect, and when I look at how I handle myself around other people now compared to when I was in high school and even college, I am amazed at how I have grown.
6. I am learning my limits. I used to be one who would just say, "Sure I can do this. No, don't worry I'll be fine. I'll just keep plugging away, no matter how tired I get, and I'll end up being find, eventually." Well, I am learning that is not necessarily the case. After years of not really, truly being "fine," I am learning to tell people "No, sorry, I can't come down for Grandpa's birthday" or "I'm just too tired to do that; my family and I need to stay home this weekend" or "Sorry, sweetheart, Mommy needs to sit down. We can either read a book together, or you can play in the basement."
7. And a lesson I am in the process of learning: be grateful no matter what the circumstances (THIS is currently a huge challenge for me). Between my health issues and my fatigue after working, and my desire to be home for the boys and to grow our family, I often have a very poor attitude. If I cannot give thanks for the many blessings God has given me now, will I suddenly be able to do it when I am home (and hopefully healthier)? If I cannot be joyful (at least as joyful as my depression and fatigue allow me to be) now, will I be joyful when I have kids pulling me in every direction? Yet, if I can learn to be grateful for what He has given me now, how much more I will grow in gratitude when He has given me the desire of my heart! Yet, I fear if I cannot be appreciative now, I will be disappointed when I am home and will still be looking for another thing that needs to change so that I can be happy. I have a great opportunity now to learn this gift of gratitude, and a great opportunity in seven months to continue to grow in gratitude.
1. My working right now, even part time, is preparing my heart to truly appreciate being home. My desire to be home grows stronger as time continues to march on, and as I continue to work outside the home. I do realize being home with children is not easy, and when I am home full time, I know I will realize more fully just how difficult it can be. Yet, looking back at my working days, remembering just how I longed to be home and to give myself to my children, I will be more grateful and appreciative of the gift of being home - hopefully even on the difficult days.
A wonderful priest I recently talked with told me it's like a high school or college-aged person working in a factory; it's good for everyone to have a job like that, or a job that they dislike or that does not fulfill them, so that they better appreciate future work. I remember a friend of mine from high school worked nights in a paper mill her freshman year of college. While she enjoyed the job to some extent, she did not want to work there the rest of her life. At some point, she took a single napkin from the machine she had worked at constantly and tacked it to the board above her desk where she would study to keep her motivated to study and to remind herself of the mundane and tiring yet physically demanding job she had held, so that she would better appreciate the next steps in her life.
Maybe seven months from now I'll have to keep a goniometer (a took for measuring joint angles) above my mirror so that I can look at it each morning and remember what a blessing it is I get to stay home.
2. I have had the opportunity to meet so many beautiful people that I would not have otherwise met. My life has touched their lives, and their lives have touched mine. There are some patients I truly look forward to seeing, and I am sad when they "graduate" from physical therapy. And the feeling often seems to be mutual. Many of those patients (at least the female ones) will say they hope to see me again (in the grocery store, not PT, of course) and give me a big hug when they leave for the last time. These are people I feel truly blessed to have known.
3. For the reason above, I have also been able to be a witness for God to some people. My life touches others' lives. I wear a 5-way cross and a scapular everyday (and I know the straps are somewhat visible often), as well as a simple ring with a cross on it. It is surprising how often people comment on either my necklace or ring. Sometimes it's the start of some pretty cool conversations; other times, I am simply being a witness to God by being kind and caring while wearing His sign around my neck. Either way, I hope I am bringing people closer to Him, even as I am struggling to grow closer to Him myself.
4. I am also very blessed that I can support my family while Andy is in school, working only 20 hours a week. If it wasn't for being able to do that, Andy would likely not have been able to go back to school, and my staying home would be less likely (or I'd have to work 40 hours a week while Andy's in school, which would be even more difficult for me with my being so involved with raising a family and with my thyroid and adrenal issues and my depression and anxiety). We do have help from my parents with Andy's school, and Andy's school loans, work study (tutoring now 2 hours per week), scholarships, and grants, and his income from reffing hockey games - but by far our family is primarily supported by my income and would be lost without it.
5. The fifth reason I am grateful for being a physical therapist is one of the very reasons I so very much dislike it (go figure). I am such an introvert and so very much need time for myself, and am challenged by relationships with others; constant discussions with people and needing to answer one question after another, or carry on conversations, wears me out. I cannot constantly be on my toes, so to speak, without getting worn down. Yet, being a physical therapist has improved my ability to do just that (which I know will be a blessing when I am at home), and has greatly improved my social skills and my confidence in myself. I was such a shy girl in grade school and high school, and - though less so - in college. As a PT, I have had to initiate conversations, be the expert and demonstrate confidence (as my supervisor constantly told me on my first PT job, "When you don't have confidence, you need to fake it - the patients need to see that confidence from you; soon, you'll develop more confidence and won't need to fake it so much"), and learn how to relate to others. I truly have grown greatly in this aspect, and when I look at how I handle myself around other people now compared to when I was in high school and even college, I am amazed at how I have grown.
6. I am learning my limits. I used to be one who would just say, "Sure I can do this. No, don't worry I'll be fine. I'll just keep plugging away, no matter how tired I get, and I'll end up being find, eventually." Well, I am learning that is not necessarily the case. After years of not really, truly being "fine," I am learning to tell people "No, sorry, I can't come down for Grandpa's birthday" or "I'm just too tired to do that; my family and I need to stay home this weekend" or "Sorry, sweetheart, Mommy needs to sit down. We can either read a book together, or you can play in the basement."
7. And a lesson I am in the process of learning: be grateful no matter what the circumstances (THIS is currently a huge challenge for me). Between my health issues and my fatigue after working, and my desire to be home for the boys and to grow our family, I often have a very poor attitude. If I cannot give thanks for the many blessings God has given me now, will I suddenly be able to do it when I am home (and hopefully healthier)? If I cannot be joyful (at least as joyful as my depression and fatigue allow me to be) now, will I be joyful when I have kids pulling me in every direction? Yet, if I can learn to be grateful for what He has given me now, how much more I will grow in gratitude when He has given me the desire of my heart! Yet, I fear if I cannot be appreciative now, I will be disappointed when I am home and will still be looking for another thing that needs to change so that I can be happy. I have a great opportunity now to learn this gift of gratitude, and a great opportunity in seven months to continue to grow in gratitude.
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