Falling on His Grace

I'm a day or two late with these. I want to try to post the readings for each Sunday, partially in attempt to read them myself before Mass. The readings will be taken from the USCCB website , New American translation. Reading 1 Is 2:1-5 This is what Isaiah, son of Amoz, saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem. In days to come, the mountain of the LORD’s house shall be established as the highest mountain and raised above the hills. All nations shall stream toward it; many peoples shall come and say: “Come, let us climb the LORD’s mountain, to the house of the God of Jacob, that he may instruct us in his ways, and we may walk in his paths.” For from Zion shall go forth instruction, and the word of the LORD from Jerusalem. He shall judge between the nations, and impose terms on many peoples. They shall beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks; one nation shall not raise the sword against another, nor s...

I love Romans 8:28. "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God." Well, He has proven that to be true once again! I had a very difficult time with this miscarriage, being angry with God for having put me through this again . Well, I also have recognized a recurring theme in the last year. Have you noticed it?? (you don't really need to tell me if you have). The theme has been this: complain, complain, complain. Hopefully I really haven't been that bad, but truly I have been frustrated with my need to work, my thyroid and hormonal problems, my kids' behavior... I won't go on. Meanwhile, my husband says, "It is what it is." Often. Alright, alright, I get it... or I thought I did. No, really, I didn't get it like I should. It's not so much that life isn't fair (as in, it's not fair I have to work; it's not fair I have to deal with all these imbalances). Fair Smair. What is fair? (And I don't really h...

Thanksgiving is over, and Christmas is right around the corner. It's hard to believe Advent is starting in two days already! Andy and I are hoping to get our Christmas cards done and ready to go out earlier than usual this year (earlier than our usual anyway!) (47) We bought matching sweaters for the boys (on huge sale!) - how much longer will they let us dress them in matching outfits, after all? Today we went out to try to find a Christmas tree to take a picture near. No one had theirs out except retail stores, where price tags were hanging off all the ornaments... a little tacky, perhaps. But we're hoping Church will have their Christmas trees up on Sunday, since it is Advent, so the boys can wear their special sweaters to church. Next step, finding a place to have the cards made. I've been happy with Shutterfly's service, and they have many cards that say "Merry Christmas" rather than "Happy Holidays." And bloggers get 50 free Christmas cards i...

"We are called to love our husbands with the love of the Father loving our husbands through us. Oh yes, our human love is important, but our human love does not have the power to heal; our human love does not have the power to convict; our human love does not have the power to convert. But God's love, flowing in us, through us, to our husbands, to our children, to every person that we meet, has the power to do all of that and so much more. That is what the sacrament of matrimony is all about. That is why God raised the sacrament to be precisely that... an outward sign instituted by Christ to... give us grace.... "Our matrimony is our vocation. And a vocation has two missions. A vocation has an interior mission, and a vocation has an exterior mission. The interior mission is about our sanctification... our marriage is the path to sanctity that the Lord has chosen for us and that that path is to be lived with another individual, and that we are to both serve each other by ...

6 months today until Andy graduates! Amazing! I started this countdown around 22-23 months, at least in my head; I didn't check if I had started posting at that point. 6 months does not seem like a long time really, in some senses, though lately it seems to be much too long still. But this time will pass. A few weeks ago, I was starting to realize there may be a few things I will miss about working and about other things that may change. Then my miscarriage happened, which once again pointed out some of the disadvantages of being a working mom. Realizing the stress, my boys started misbehaving again, and I longed even more to stay home to get them back to normal faster. And I grew more frustrated than I had been with having a boss who discourages me from talking with anyone at work about my thyroid, depression, hormonal issues, or miscarriages, for fear of upsetting the other staff . I don't need to talk about it a lot, or with everyone there, but I'm female. I need to tal...

Today, Archbishop Raymond Burke was formally named a cardinal, one of 24 new cardinals elevated today. He grew up in western Wisconsin and had a zeal for priesthood from an early age; he was in seminary in La Crosse Wisconsin and later became the diocese's bishop (1994?). In 2004, he was named Archbishop in St. Louis. Cardinal Burke has also been very involved in the Supreme Tribunal of the Apostolic Signatura, the Church's highest court of Canon Law (from my limited understanding). From 1989 to 1994, he served s the defender of the bond for the Apostolic Signatura, and from 2006 to 2008 (while still Archbishop in St. Louis), he served as a bishop-member of the Signatura then was named as its new prefect in 2008. He has also been a member of the Pontifical Council for Legislative Texts, the council which authentically interprets Canon Law and a member of the Congregation for the Clergy, which regulates the formation and training of seminarians and those being trained for the pe...

Since I posted my first Marian Mondays post, perhaps a month ago, I have been trying to figure out what direction to take those posts in, as I would like to continue them. But there is so much information on the internet about Mary's apparitions, and I have not yet found it to be very well organized or easy to find really good, basic information (if you have a site you particularly like, please do let me know, even for my own reading, or for posting). I had started reading St. Louis de Montfort's The Secret of the Rosary fairly recently and picked it up again tonight. Perhaps, until I am done reading this little book, I will pull a few quotes from it every so often to post. One I found to be interesting is from the "Seventh Rose" (or "chapter" 7). St. Louis de Montfort says this: "The chronicles of Saint Francis tell of a young friar who had the praiseworthy habit of saying the Crown of Our Lady (the Rosary) every day before dinner. One day for some re...

Thank you for your continuous support and prayers and your kind and encouraging words! You have helped to lift my heart during this time. I'm doing better today than I have since I heard about my low hCG numbers last Wed. Gosh, does is seem like it's been a long time since then, but it's really been only 5 days! What a week! I am saddened, of course, that I will not be able to hold my own little one in my arms in July but hopeful I someday will be able to hold another little one. But I am also relieved to know the answer. And I am relieved that my decreasing hCG levels indicate a miscarriage, rather than an ectopic pregnancy - which would be likely if my numbers were continuing to slowly climb as they had been. There is something about being in limbo, not knowing the answer, that bothers me and really irritates me and causes great impatience. Does anyone else find that they feel similarly? It is a real cross for me and but one that I need to work through and, with God's...

Well, it seems I have my answer. My hCG, which should double every 24 hours, has dropped from 196 on Thursday to 192 today. A miscarriage is pending. My doctor told me I can stop taking prometrium/progesterone. And the miscarriage will likely happen within the week (though last time it seemed to take longer than that). She also told me we'd be looking into other reasons I may be infertile, and perhaps then other treatments such as shots of hCG on months we're trying to conceive. We'll also retest my basic progesterone/hormonal levels again in either December or January. We are blessed, though, in that we have two beautiful children here with us and now two beautiful children in Heaven. I also blessed in that I am in good hands in the doctor I am seeing. She is a wonderful Catholic woman and mother and works with infertility using the Creighton method and NaPro technology. She and her partner at the clinic are so very good at what they do and so very caring. If anyone you kn...

I feel very "hugged" by prayers today. Thank you for all who are praying for me and my family during this time! I don't know any more than I did yesterday, but, besides the prayers, I am also feeling better because I am allowing myself to hope that this child may still be alive. If I don't hope, staying on the progesterone and continuing all the lab tests feels to be for naught and does nothing except prolong the "inevitable," and that is very frustrating.

Well, I'll start with the good news. God is answering my prayers: He is helping me to become more patient and trusting and giving Andy a chance to practice being sensitive to my needs and communicate about his feelings. Just not the way I was hoping He would do it. Nine days ago, I found out I was pregnant... need I say more?? But I will anyway. Excited, I called my doctor. She ordered two hCG tests, 48 + hours apart, to be done quickly because of my recent history of miscarriage (Feb 2010) and because I'm on progesterone to help with pregnancies and cyclical hormonal levels.  Didn't hear anything, so figured they were normal (really didn't even think about it), then heard the levels were too low (86 and 92) and didn't quadruple as they should have. So another was ordered, which I did yesterday. It was somewhere between 160 and 200 (a week after the first lab, so it should have doubled seven times, or been about 260 times the first number)... can't remembe...

A conversation in the car today, after picking Blaise up from kindergarten: Me: It's such a nice day out, let's all play outside before it gets dark. Isaac: Ok. Blaise: But I want to go inside. And I want you to inside with me, Mommy. Isaac: Mommy, will you play baseball with me? Blaise: But I want you inside, in case I do anything wrong. Me: Silent and dumbfounded. (In the end, both boys decided to go inside and watch a 30 min movie. I got to sit in the front stoop for 20 min to catch the last little bit of sunlight before the movie was over.)

  The boys recently started a learn to skate program in preparation for playing hockey at the local ice arena. Here they are in their pads the afternoon before the first lesson.   Ready to go on the ice. Both boys are pumped! Blaise did a great job! He just keeps getting better!   Isaac, on the other hand, was afraid of the ice and sat in the chair pouting the whole time. The coaches were great with him, though, pushing him around in the chair and also on his bottom on the ice (trying to help him get over his fear of ice). This last weekend, he and I did a little experiment. We put water into a tupperware container and put it in the freezer. Isaac was excited when he discovered that it turned into ice! Ice is only cold water! Nothing to be afraid of. So this last week, he was a puppy, tongue hanging out, moving around the ice on his hands and knees. Well, it's progress, anyway. Hopefully next week we can get his skates on the ice!

Glory Stories are back, at Holy Heroes. I'm not the best for explaining what they are for those who don't know, as I just found out about them myself... but apparently they're an awesome way to teach kids about the saints. A friend of mine was SOOOO excited when I told her about these, because her kids (6, 4, 2, and baby) LOVE the one CD that they have and have been asking for some time for more. Katie, please explain this better if I do a poor job. The CDs teach about saints in story form, with conversation and hold the kids' attention. The CDs available now include St Juan Diego, Mother Theresa, St. Faustina, St. Martin de Porres, St. Cecilia, St. Rose of Lima, St. Maximilian Kolbe, and others. Alright, now for my story, how I found these... or more truthfully, how I was led to them. Blaise and Isaac have been interested in super heroes... Superman, Batman, Spiderman, etc (boys... sigh). I, of course, am not thrilled with this interest, and wonder where they lear...

Just over a week ago, Blaise decided he wanted to pack up some toys to give away because he and Isaac have too many toys. OK!!! So we took out a paper bad and did a good job filling it with toys to give away. He was really pretty generous with what he wanted to give away: he even wanted to give away one or two pieces of his foam hopscotch set - I had to talk him out of that one! (What would someone do with one piece from a hopscotch set??) I gave him the option of bringing the bag to St. Vincent de Paul to donate or selling the toys at our local resale shop for babies and young kids. He wanted to sell them. Ok. I would have preferred he say give it away at that point, but I figured we'll sell it and perhaps use the money for one toy rather than having a bag full of toys we don't need. So we brought the toys to the local resale shop a week ago, after school. On the way, I asked Blaise what he wanted to do with the money. Should we look around that store or another store for so...

Isaac turned 4 yesterday. Happy Birthday to our sweet boy. Unfortunately, he was sick yesterday, on his birthday. He was running a temp all day and was tired and was laying down on the couch or in bed a good portion of the day. We were unable to go bowling as we had wanted to. He went to bed with a 103 degree temp and ibuprofen and luckily woke up this morning doing much better. Luckily, my parents came to celebrate the night before and Andy's parents and Isaac's godparents are coming today, so he's getting plenty of celebration. Happy Birthday, Isaac!

I was drawn to read Luke's passage about the Transfiguration - Luke 9:28-36 - and a reflection on the reading from a book I have mentioned before - The Better Part , by John Bartunek, LC. It is not often that we have the opportunity to witness a true miracle - Christ acting in all His power - and especially not with such pizazz as was the Transfiguration. Wouldn't it be wonderful if Christ would reveal Himself to us is such splendor? Wouldn't it make faith so much easier? Yet, look at Peter's reaction to the Transfiguration: he had no idea what to say! He was overwhelmed and really not at peace. No, God has a better idea. Instead of coming to us in all His splendor, He chooses to come to us quietly. He comes to us most often in times of quiet prayer, in solitude, even over a sink full of dishes. One of my favorite places, though, is in a quiet church in front of Christ in the tabernacle. Though a quite stream is quite nice too. To find time in a church or in nature for ...

I am now 3/4 of the way through Carmen Marcoux's second book, Surrender . I must say that as much as I loved her first book, Arms of Love , I am enjoying the second even more. The one issue I had with the first, I am finding not to be the case with the second: the characters in the first were just too good at everything. In the second, the characters are much more believable and more enjoyable; you begin to see their flaws, but, because it is a wonderful Catholic book, you see their flaws in the light of Christ's love and mercy. And it still has that quality of making one want to be a better Catholic; of making one strive for a deeper faith. The book follows Joanie, the oldest daughter of 8 children, and her marriage to Brandon and pregnancy, and also the discernment process, which is turning out to be quite enjoyable, of the next two daughters, Maggie and Amie. I also enjoy the parents, John and Judy, as they are great examples for us parents (I wish I could learn more about ...

Please pray for us, all you angels and saints, that we and our families may grow in holiness and love our God as you did in your lives, and that we may see Him and know Him in fullness in the next. Please pray for our world, that true peace and love may enter all hearts, and that all may give our Father glory. Thank you for your beautiful examples of faith and of acting out your faith, of persevering in times of difficulty and often persecution. I give thanks to our Lord for blessing you and keeping you close to His heart. May He also do the same for us, and may we follow your shining example as we live the lives God has set before us and try to bring our families and others to Him. Please help us and pray for us. Please pray for us, all you angels and saints, that we and our families may grow in holiness and love our God as you did in your lives, and that we may see Him and know Him in fullness in the next. Please pray for our world, that true peace and love may enter all hearts, and ...