Update... Doing Better

I love Romans 8:28. "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God." Well, He has proven that to be true once again!

I had a very difficult time with this miscarriage, being angry with God for having put me through this again. Well, I also have recognized a recurring theme in the last year. Have you noticed it?? (you don't really need to tell me if you have). The theme has been this: complain, complain, complain. Hopefully I really haven't been that bad, but truly I have been frustrated with my need to work, my thyroid and hormonal problems, my kids' behavior... I won't go on.

Meanwhile, my husband says, "It is what it is." Often. Alright, alright, I get it... or I thought I did.

No, really, I didn't get it like I should. It's not so much that life isn't fair (as in, it's not fair I have to work; it's not fair I have to deal with all these imbalances). Fair Smair. What is fair? (And I don't really have it that bad anyway). Whatever!

No, life isn't fair. But really, it's not unfair either. If we believe in God, we're given enough grace to work through whatever situation He's put us in. No, life is what it is. We're dealt what we're dealt. We need to accept what's in front of us. What does it do for us to not accept it... to complain? It tears us up inside is what it does! No, we need to accept it. Some things can be changed, but it often takes time, so in the meantime, we can accept where we are and start to take the steps to change it. Accepting where we are helps us to trust in God. We aren't truly trusting in God if we aren't accepting what He has given us. And if we don't trust Him, we can't surrender to Him; besides, if we are complaining (outwardly or in our heads) and wanting to get out of the situation we're currently in, we are not at all surrendering. And surrendering to Him and trusting in His great wisdom, power, and love for us is what helps to bring us peace and joy. And what allows His plan to take shape in our lives... the plan that is absolutely best for us and may even include that change we desire.

I thought I was surrendering all to Him... even as I was feeling cheated. But by wishing it was different, I was holding on too hard to let it go. Now I am saying, with my husband, "It is what it is," including about the recent miscarriage... and work... and the thyroid... and kids' behavior (which is also improving by the way). And I'm finding it easier to happily accept God's plan and to trust and surrender to Him.

So my husband was right... again! It's not fair! :)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lessons I've Learned: Part 7

I wrote a post last week about suffering being a gift and about choosing to fall on God's grace so that God may bring that gift to fulness as He desires it to be for us. I want to better spell a few things out in regards to this than I did last week. Suffering is a gift in a few ways. For us personally, it is a gift in that it gives us reason to come to God, asking for His help and His Grace. It is too easy, when everything is going well, to set prayer aside and to let our relationship with God remain or become stagnant. Suffering can either be a reminder that we do indeed need God, or, for some, it can be a first step in a journey toward faith. Suffering is a vehicle by which God draws us, His beloved, to Himself. Suffering is also a mode by which, after we ask for His help, God sends graces down upon us. Through suffering, He prepares our hearts, if we allow Him, to receive His graces: His love, peace, and joy and all that He desires to give us. It is through suffering that w
Read more

Persistence and assertiveness

Andy (my hubbie), the two boys, and I were praying tonight before the boys' bedtime. Blaise (3 1/2 years) made it through all 5 prayers beautifully, to his credit, but showed his stubborn side... uh, his assertive side... during the "God bless"-es. We said "God bless Blaise, God bless Isaac, God bless Daddy, God bless Mommy," and as we were getting to "God bless Grandma and Grandpa W and ... A," Blaise interrupted and said, "No I want say Mommy Daddy again." So we started over with "God bless"-es. Then he did it again. The first 3 or 4 times were fine. After all, I can use all the prayers I can get. But by the 5th or 6th time, I knew I would need more prayers than he was going to give me if I let that continue on. So we gave him a warning that if he continued to whine.. uh, act so dramatically... he wouldn't get "Grandma's song." He continued to be assertive. So I finished the prayers and said goodnight.
Read more

Lessons Learned on My Journey through Anxiety and Depression: Part 4

It has been nearly two years now since the onset of my anxiety. As I think over these last two years and see how much I have learned and how much I have grown as well as how much I have suffered and continue, to a much smaller degree, to suffer, I’m at the same time grateful for this experience and filled with regret. I still am filled with questions of why? Why did I have to go through this, and why do I still need to experience anxiety to the level I still do? To some extent, I can answer these questions. My faith has grown exponentially, as has my strength, my character, and my tolerance of suffering. And I know there’s still growth that needs to happen. I am not there yet. And, really, I don’t know if I’ll ever be “there.” The primary thing I continue to suffer from, besides the increasingly rare incidence of actual anxiety and the on edge feeling I more often feel, are constant palpitations. I feel these palpitations most notably as a strong pulse in my hands and in my he
Read more